feeling like the way to describe how I have felt lately is 'in my head' I live and think and work in my head. to afraid to explore the real world. to damaged to successfully take a risk in a real place.
feeling like, everything I really think is made up by me and wondering if that makes me really creative or really, really broken.
wondering why it is so impossible for me to make even one improvement.
underneath I must have this goal of sabotaging myself.
and we've gone full circle back to living in my head.
explains why I don't enjoy social activities, or people, or life.
by explains I meant excuse.
I am a giant excuse.
trying to find the entrance to the circle maze to begin making improvements and mapping the insanity. we'll see.
i feel that way sometimes, too, dear! i know it is sometimes so hard to be positive when things seem to always be going wrong, but you just have to keep your chin up. you have wonderful people in your life (aaron, jara, joni, mom and dad, geneva, rachel and of course, your bestest friend in the world: me!;)) and we will all be there for you when you need it. i am always here for you - skype, cell phones, facebook, etc - if you need someone to talk to. remember, i've gone through this, too, so i maybe don't have all the answers, but i know what it feels like and i can commiserate with you. ;)
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i'll even buy you coffee and chocolate when you need someone to talk to! ;)
*hugs* <3